food log
☐ didn't track
☑ ate at/under deficit
☒ ate over deficit
↺ b/p
date: march 4th 2026
status: ☒
today was a little unusual because he came over last night and left this afternoon. we got coffee in the morning and i wasted cals on a sugary drink and a bagel. later in the day i had yogurt and i got taco bell for dinner.
writing
i feel pretty bad either way. it's so embarrassing to be tall and fat. i hate that my clothes look so big on the hanger. i hate that my unathleticism looks dirty instead of cute. if i was skinny i could get away with being out of breath after running or fainting from the heat. i hate the way my back looks. i hate my skin tone. if i was skinny, i would look pretty pale. but since i'm fat you can see all my veins and pores. i hate the line on my stomach from fat rolls. i hate that i get so tired just standing up. i hate that i'm wider than him. i hate that i'm going to have to buy ridiculous sizes in thailand because everyone there is tiny. i hate that that's even something i have to think about. i hate how i can't control myself around food. i can't even stop thinking about it.
rewards
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measurements
height: 5'8/173cm
weight: 145lb/65kg
bust: 38in/97cm
waist: 30in/76cm
hip: 40in/101cm
inseam:
central front length:
bmi: 22
tdee: 2030 cals/day
bmr: 1476 cals/day
