diary

school has been full of studying for our upcoming end of semester exams. mine shouldn't be too bad considering my only class with an exam is chorus. i have a couple competitions coming up so i've been reading and drawing and designing for those. i'm also keeping up with tidying my room and that makes me feel better during the winter season.

i've been hanging out with a lot of my friends which has resulted in some drama among my various groups. some of my friends are mad that i don't spend enough time with them, but they've never reached out to me to plan anything. i'm trying not to think too much about it because it's frustrating to me. sometimes you have to put yourself first.

i tried raising canes for the first time the other day and i really enjoyed it even if it's kind of a drive. it gives me an excuse to spend time with friends and chat in the car for a few hours. last night i spent the night at a friend's with my partner and we had a lot of fun watching movies and having a bonfire. i'm doing a little extra skincare today to make up for the lack of it yesterday.

winter break ended today. the holidays were nice because i got to spend time with a few of my friends. i wish i had more free time to spend with them because they make me happy. i went to the housecat museum and saw the new studio ghibli movie, which i enjoyed even if i struggled to understand the plot. i also tried a yoga class that ended up being a lot of fun. the instructor asked me to join her new recurring class but it's so expensive!!

my family had to do christmas early because my brother was headed to his girlfriends place. it didn't feel like christmas, especially since my parents don't really know what i like anymore. i got loop earbuds and a fjallraven kanken as well as some cookware and some polaroid film. new years felt pretty boring too, but i'm excited for 2023 to be over.

i went back to school today! it's the last few days of my first semester so we're all gearing back up for testing. next semester is going to be more stressful considering i have more classes. i'm hoping it makes me feel a little more like i'm actually in school. right now i just show up at the end of the day to hang out in the back of the classroom.

the play is over and it went well. i've been spending my time volunteering which is better than sitting around doing nothing all day. i helped out with samaritan's purse and (surprise surprise) they turned out to be homophobic BS. then i sat outside walmart ringing a bell in the cold with the salvation army. i don't really need more volunteer hours, it's just good to get out of the house...

last thursday was my chorus concert. my class had been practicing all semester for this one night and it went well. the new auditorium makes us sound a lot better. i stand in the back because i'm the tallest. tenor parts are never fun by themselves, but they sound good with everyone else. hopefully next semester i'll get a solo. after the concert i was rejected from my dream college, which i knew was going to happen but it still hurt.

the day after was a pep rally at school. i was thinking about skipping because i was still down from the rejection, but my partner talked me into going. usually it's sports awards or teachers making fools of themselves, but i was called down in the middle of the rally to accept an award for my volunteer service. it was a total surprise. if i knew, i would have dressed up a little nicer.

i passed all my online finals. chemistry was close, but i ended up getting something like a 75. i did well in the internship interview. the dermatologist gave me medicated face wipes but they haven't been working. maybe it's stress? all the things have me a little overwhelmed and it's definitely getting to me. i try not to talk about it with my friends since i don't want to make them uncomfortable, but i haven't wanted to eat for the last few days. we'll see how everything works out.

december starts off with a bang! i've got my depop up and running. i was offered an internship next semester and i'm cleaning up after the homecoming dance tomorrow, even though i'm not going. opening night for the show went well. today i had a day off that i spent with my partner but it was cut short after i got called into work because my coworker was going through a breakup.

my skin has been rough recently, so i scheduled a dermatologist meeting for next week. last time i went they just gave me a prescription for accutane which is tough to refill. my mom is asking me to use scar gel on my legs, but i don't see the point when i don't know if i'll end up ruining it all over again.

november has been a long month. i made a lemon loaf and got my first flat tire. i helped move my mom into her new office with a friend and we had a lot of fun organizing papers and spending time in a big city. my partner and i went to ikea recently and i got a blahaj after years of wanting one. i'm finally cleaning out my room and giving away some clothes, and i'm hoping to sell the rest.

thanksgiving was super busy but it gave me an opportunity to spend some time with my dad. we made turkey and roast potatoes as well as some steamed vegetables and stuffing. i'm a big fan of rolls. now i'm assisting with local theater doing tech and i'll be volunteering with some christmas organizations later. lots to do!!

today i saw the fnaf movie with my partner. i really enjoyed it, it was less scary than i thought it would be. i was surprised at the lack of gore. i liked how they characterized the animatronics but i wish they stuck to the game's lore more. to be fair, i've been waiting for this for almost 10 years, so i had high expectations.

school has been stressful. there's a lot of pressure on me right now because the early action dates for all my colleges are coming up. i have to write a lot of extra essays that i'm really struggling with since i don't connect with a lot of the prompts. i understand the prompts need to be vague but it makes it difficult for me to actually be passionate about what i'm writing about, especially since my parents follow up behind me to critique what i write.

today i had to apply for college. it was the due date for early action for one of my top choices, and i worked on my essays all day with the help of my parents. i also had to go to work early, from about 2:30-7:30. despite being an ice cream shop, a lot of people come here for food. since it was a colder day, i had to make a lot of papas locas and esquites. i don't have fun making food. usually i have to deliver it to their tables like a waitress but the customers don't usually tip.

at home, we've been preparing for my mom to have some friends over. it's stressful since there's so much to do. conveniently, she has a work trip this week while my dad and i spend our time cleaning and organizing. i've been collecting recipes to make while her friends are over but i have to be extra careful because they have a lot of dietary restrictions.

today is friday which means my school lets out early. my chorus class secretly put together a surprise birthday party for my teacher!! i think we really caught him off guard. there were some alumni that showed up and everyone had a good time. i brought cups and a huge plush bear to put in his chair. the party was batman themed.

after that, i spent some time in a bigger city with my partner. we went to the mall and got some taiyaki with nutella and boba inside and that was really tasty. i got some new pajamas because victorias secret was having a really good sale. then we hung out at the makeup store and i got a new lip balm and some lashes.

then i had to go to work. i worked by myself, which is new. usually i work with my boss or another person my age. it gets scary at night because it's sort of an intimidating area, and i don't like to take the trash out because the dumpster is in a dark spot and sometimes there are questionable characters around. i also had some people stay late, which means i have to wait longer to clean. it isn't too bad though, and i had some spicy ramen for dinner when i got home.

today i went to three farms with my dad in an attempt to find a pumpkin. we started with high hopes, but pumpkin prices are high right now because everyone wants one, so i ended up shilling out fifteen dollars for one pumpkin. it's large and round and i think it's going to look really pretty when i paint it. we also got lunch at an italian place and i tried manicotti, which are like big pasta tubes filled with feta cheese and spinach. it was really good.

after we got home, i got a call from a friend asking to come by the park. when i showed up, they were with some people i don't really know. they asked me to draw flames on some vinyl so they could cut it out and put it on one of the other people's car. after some sketches, we found a design we liked and started cutting it out. i had to leave after that, but i hope it looks cool on the car.

when i got home from that, my mom was mad that i hadn't worked on my application for college. some of the early action deadlines are coming up so she really wants me to get it done, but i lose motivation whenever she gets stressed and freaks out on me. it's about one am when i'm typing this, and i still haven't made much progress...